Sometimes Republicans Make It So Easy...

From Gawker: The Racist Anti-Obama GOP Newsletter Listicle!



Please click, and be ready to hate Republicans again.


Photo Caption: "The Republican Party: All Bush, No Blacks!"

Best Read Ever: Wednesday, October 16, 2008

Gail Collins, as usual, proves that all women don't write like Maureen Dowd; and that not all political theater can be referenced with a reality TV show (except she does reference a reality show...shit!)! Oh well. Here's the best paragraph I've read all day:

"Neither, to be honest, is everything we were hoping for when this all began. Back to that summer camp metaphor: Obama is like the coolest, most popular camper. You can’t wait to see him again after school starts. Then you discover that back in real life, he’s founder of the Model Boat Society and the president of the Safety Club. And McCain is like the head counselor who led all the hikes and who you wished was your older brother. Until you realized that he spent the cold weather hanging out at a biker bar and watching reruns of “Dog the Bounty Hunter.”"

Ha!

Also worth reading:

Controversy! Roger Cohen and Timothy Egan of the NYTimes both went out in search of "lifelong Republicans" in America...who...omg...aren't voting for McCain! I am wondering whether a NYTimes reporter will be able to find a Republican who votes Republican (and doesn't scream "Kill him!" at rallies) before the election!
Odds: 20-80. This headline from Blogbuster on Egan's story is Onion-worthy.

Christopher Buckley's endorsement of Obama has led to his expulsion from the conservative camp...and his father's magazine. Maybe after Obama wins, Buckley will write a sequel about the McCain/Palin ticket called "Thank You for Choking."

The entire issue of this week's New Yorker is terrific, but if you don't have time to savor, read this: "Freakonomics" author Malcolm Gladwell writes about the link between genius and youth in art and writing. Should give legions of failed 45-year old authors new hope!

On writing: Best friend Adrienne sent me a terrific essay on the psyche of women writers in America in the feminist magazine Bitch. I wrote the author, Anna Clark, and it turns out we're neighbors! One more reason Detroit is cooler than wherever you live. Check out her blog for more stories.

Palin-pissing continues (see ALL major media columnists). Think Serious Campaign Journalists, with starry-eyed memories of 2000's Straight Talk Express, are upset McCain didn't pick them for vice-president. And Palin strippers!!!

Chris Chelios Says He Wants To "Drive" Joe Elliot

Def Leppard's Joe Elliott set the Stanley Cup upside down on the stage at the NHL Rocks! concert after the Wings' home opener. And Chris Chelios says he did it on purpose, according to the Freep. Also, that Def Leppard has sucked for at least 20 years, and the average age of the NHL Marketing team is like, what, 56? Chel was rockin' his Miracle Tan on JJ & Lynne on 94.7 FM (WCSX).

"Someone should have drove that guy, he did that on purpose," Cheli said Wednesday.

J.J.: "You think he did it on purpose?"

"No, we know he did ... we talked to people at the show and the guy was being real rude to everybody," Chelios said. "He was in a bad mood when they got there, so for whatever reason he didn't want to be there. And that's his way of showing it and taking it out on the NHL. ..."

('Roid rage?)

(...)

That hockey picture shows how Cheli would "drive" Joe Elliot, if you are unfamiliar with grown men body tackles.

Just sayin'

One reason the NY Times Opinion Page is so boring.

Look at those sleepy eyes! Bob Herbert is even putting himself to sleep!

A blog called "The Stopped Clock" says that Herbert isn't boring...it's his subject matter!
I quote: "Here's my counter-challenge to the Washington Monthly - take any popular columnist and have that columnist cover Bob Herbert's beat for a year."
Stopped Clock says that's going to be some heavy lifting. Indeed, writing about black kids who were arrested while walking to a friend's funeral for what seemed like an entire summer (that was 2007) would cause any columnist to start scratching out his veins with a Bic pen.
Here's the thing: Bob Herbert isn't mind-crushingly boring because of what he writes about. I think the Times' Timothy Egan could write about Bob Herbert every week for a year, and I'd read it! Bob Herbert is boring because he never says anything interesting. When was the last time he took a stand on an unpopular issue, thought of a new idea, or advanced the discussion in a single, meaningful way? Reading Bob Herbert is like listening to the droning of your steadfast, boring Great Uncle Wallie at dinner--he's moral, he's a nice person, his heart's in the right place, but when was the last time he had any fun? Would you want to listen to Great Uncle Wallie every Tuesday and Saturday morning? That's what I thought.
This kind of writing is why I get mad at Bob Herbert:

With less than a month left until Election Day, there is still time for the presidential candidates to focus with great intensity on what should be the most important issue of this campaign. It’s not just the economy, stupid — it’s jobs.

Clearly insightful. Jobs...are good! Presidents...should care more about us! The economy...needs to provide jobs! And...I'm drooling. One more example of why even the best writers need an editor.

Who Are The Outlaws?

Of cowboy hackers, Robin Hoods, and street gangs:
Four academics discuss what's left of the American outlaw archetype, whether our society needs outlaws, and which up-and-coming generation of rule-breakers will change our country. It's from the NYTimes Opinion Blog, which seems to be supplying some of the magic that our beloved NYTimes columnists are missing.

My favorite passage is from Graham Seal, professor of folklore at Curtin University of Technology in Australia:

Deserving of such treatment or not, outlaw heroes are the smoke of a fire burning deep in the resentful core of an ethnic, cultural, religious, or class group that perceives itself to be the victim of injustice. Perception is the important concept here. Whether the group is actually being oppressed does not matter; it only needs to believe that it is.

The outlaw hero has troubled societies of all kinds for thousands of years. He ranges the unsettled borders of the old world and rides the frontiers of the new world. He hides out in mountains, marshes, forests, and other places where his pursuers cannot reach him.

He is the usually undeserving but chosen bearer of the ancient dream that refuses to die: there can be justice, all people can have fair access to the available resources, and wealth and power should not be the prerogative of a select few.

Who is your favorite outlaw? I must admit I am partial to anti-slavery crusader John Brown. And whatever happened to Shawn Fanning from Napster? Now that Comcast has blocked my access to Limewire with a firewall, I miss him more than ever.

Pictured: 2 bonafide Outlawz.

A Moment of Republican Support

It's not my interest to defend Sarah Palin's "terrorist" stump speeches. I mean, she's the one giving shout-outs to a Secessionist group.
But today's "Come ON!" column award goes to Fred Hiatt at the Washington Post, which mumbles that John McCain might be doing better (among liberals?) if he was running an "honorable campaign"

"And as the McCain campaign grew uglier last week -- casting Obama as dangerous, dishonest and un-American -- it was tempting to imagine the campaign McCain might have waged if he had based it on the respect for his opponent, and for the process, that he had long professed."

Hiatt "tries" to be fair by insinuating that Obama has been "insulting" McCain. Insulting?! Did he say that McCain was bitter and clinging to religion and guns?

"I'm sure, in the crazed intensity of a presidential campaign, it's easy to start believing your consultants and television ads -- believing that the other guy is dangerous and that only you can save the country. That must be especially true when the other guy is insulting you. The mud flies both ways in this campaign, with Obama and his allies relentlessly pounding McCain as out of touch, erratic, dishonest and, over and over again, dishonorable."

A moment of honesty: Neither Obama nor Biden NEED to make any stump speeches calling McCain reckless, dishonorable, dangerous, or an elitist shmuck. The media's already doing it for them. Gawker reports
that America's smartest + elitiestconservative reporters are now in the boat for Obama!!
Phew. Wouldn't want to be left off the bandwagon. There are so many freaking journalists writing on this campaign, yet the only article that seemed to leave any track marks lately was Rolling Stone's devastating profile on McCain, "Make Believe Maverick."
Or consider the NYTimes' stories on McCain's gambling habits or his purported affair with a lobbyist.
These journalists have been following these campaigns for almost two years, and they haven't been able to find ONE PERSON who blew lines with Obama? The National Enquirer posted that story about Palin's kids on Oxycontin within two weeks! Who's going back to Obama's days as an attorney to find out whether he was good at his job? What about his rise to power in Chicago? I refuse to believe there's a politician in this country who could rise from state Senator to in-the-running Presidential candidate with only funny ears, a racist preacher and a shady property deal to contend with. If the media has time to write these huge stories about McCain's past, then they need to stop using Dreams of My Father as a direct source in their Obama articles. It's shameful.

Here's the verdict: McCain's a fallen angel with a Faustian devil pact, as usual, but he's GOT to smear Obama and tell a bunch of lies about him. No one else will!

In Tangle of Young Lips, A Sex Rebellion in Chile

In Tangle of Young Lips, A Sex Rebellion in Chile
SANTIAGO, Chile — It is just after 5 p.m. in what was once one of Latin America’s most sexually conservative countries, and the youth of Chile are bumping and grinding to a reggaetón beat. At the Bar Urbano disco, boys and girls ages 14 to 18 are stripping off their shirts, revealing bras, tattoos and nipple rings.


The place is a tangle of lips and tongues and hands, all groping and exploring. About 800 teenagers sway and bounce to lyrics imploring them to “Poncea! Poncea!”: make out with as many people as they can.

And make out they do — with stranger after stranger, vying for the honor of being known as the “ponceo,” the one who pairs up the most....

Read it here:


Terrific photo gallery on Chilean makeout parties:

ESPN Page 2's Bill Simmons on Matt Millen

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080912

I'm starting a Matt Millen watch here. Think about what happened with Kwame. When the text-messaging scandal came out, only a few people (Ken Cockrel Jr., The Metro Times) were calling for the mayor to resign. Flash forward to yesterday, as Kwame packs up the black Nav to begin a new life as "World's Largest Lobbyist."

There are three ways I can foresee Millen leaving Detroit:
1. Simmons is the first in a tidal wave of national voices calling for resignation; nationwide Lions' blackout and pressure from the league; opening for Millen on Monday Night Football.
2. Ford Sr. dies; Bill, Jr. fires Millen immediately.
3. Sexy text messages sent by Millen to Joey Herrington found in Free Press investigation.

I think Simmons is my favorite sportswriter today:

"Here's something I've been thinking about a lot lately: With any job, you're going to have your ups and downs. At some point, you have to decide whether the downs outweigh the ups to the point that it's not worth it for you to have that job anymore. You could call it a satisfaction/misery ratio. If that ratio swings past 20/80, it's time to go. Well, if you're Matt Millen and everyone in Detroit thinks you're incompetent, openly despises you and spends every waking moment pining for your departure, at some point wouldn't that reality outweigh Millen's salary as well as any fun he could ever have running a football team? He's probably afraid to pick up a newspaper or turn on the radio. He probably spends every dinner wondering if the cook hawked a loogie in his entree. He probably walks through the stadium on Sundays with his head down. And on top of that, his team is awful. You could say his satisfaction/misery ratio is at 5/95 right now. So why wouldn't he quit and go back to TV? What's he waiting for?"

(True fact: Matt Millen gets to the stadium on Sundays before the doors open to the public. He goes up to his suite and stays there. This lessens the chance of him being verbally castrated during another Lions' loss--until one of the food servers finally has a meltdown, or something.)